This post is not just about my Breastfeeding journey but more about my journey as a mother.The journey which started as a painful experience and nothing to cherish about, which started with me questioning my ability to become forget good but a mother all together.
Read about my initial breastfeeding story My Story-Breastfeeding and the sore nipples and get to know what I am talking about when I say it was painful.
After the initial teething issue we both faced as a new mother and baby N as a new baby we evolved as a better team.We understood each other better in the terms of need and attachment.So the first six months went on smooth with both of us becoming expert in the matter of breastfeeding .Then came the phase of tasting the real food directly and we did pretty well here too.Initial food introduction was a hit Baby N would never fuss and eat so well and I thought I am the luckiest mother on this earth with every mother complaining about their child being picky eater.
I joined office and Baby N was doing well with expressed milk, pureed food, and me coming during lunch time to feed him.It was at 8 months that my sabbatical started and we moved in a different country altogether.Initially when he refused to eat I thought its the change and I should give him time but it went on for almost a month, he would not even take a single spoon of food and will only asked to be fed with breast milk.I started loosing it as it was taking a toll on my life with an almost 9 month old healthy baby with a good appetite feeding on me day in day out.
There has not been a single day when I didn’t discuss his feeding issues with my mother and my sister and there has not been a single day when they have not told me that he is just doing fine and its a phase.My mother would quote my brothers example who was breastfed for 3 yrs and was least interested in real food and my sister would quote her son’s example who till the age of one even refused to take real food.
It went on till 10 months and finally I decided to take it as it is.I stopped forcing him to eat and partially adopted baby led weaning.why partially because Nirvaan asks to be spoon fed now so we are not exclusively into baby led weaning.And my life was much easier after I accepted the fact that me being around makes the real food less interesting.
Till one year I was quite relaxed with him being exclusively breastfed.Infact it was a boon in the vacation we went on his birthday .I didn’t worry about his food and he was one happy water baby there.
After his first birthday I noticed that he was showing interest in eating the finger foods and many other food items by himself and I was relaxed that finally things are working and getting into track.But I was completely unaware about the monster named Teething and it happened when we were all settled and eating well.Teething happened at 14 months and He stopped eating and was again into exclusive breastfeeding.
Exclusive breastfeeding and a cranky baby who wants to bite your nipples to ease his teething pain is a worst combination.It was an emotional phase where I thought it is better for both of us if he is weaned off the breast completely.There has been so many moments when I felt like Why me ? I see other moms with kids of same age roaming around wearing their favourite dress and here I am struck with my baby who still wants to be fed like a new born.But Thankfully those feelings were momentary and I made up mind to be the mother he wants me to be.Not forcing him to eat and feeding him on demand.
And today at 21 months when I look back I seriously think why did I fuss over a 9 month old not eating ? I laugh at myself thinking how stupid of me to think of weaning him off his primary diet at that age.
And are we working on our weaning journey ? No not yet we are just gonna enjoy this beautiful journey of breastfeeding as long as we can.May be next year at this time I might just talk about weaning while we would be celebrating the World breastfeeding week.
Happy World Breastfeeding Week to all the mothers who have fed love to the little ones through breastfeeding and to the mothers who have fed all the love through the bottle.A big salute to all of you for being what you are and being best at it.
Also check the inspiring journey of Karuna and Baby K on how she started with formula and still breastfeeds baby K at two plus