TOYS : BEST FRIENDS AND THE BEST TEACHERS 

 This topic is very close to my heart and I have been planning to write about it since a long time and finally today was able to pen down at length.
The importance of toys in the life of children is something which can never be replaced by anything.The first friend or the favourite object they have for the first time is always a toy.
So let’s discuss the importance of toys in early learning , how today’s market has been diluted with non environment friendly options and in the end I would be discussing about the solution.

  

Importance of toys 



Toys play a vital role in early years of mental and physical development of a child,not only do they provide the vent to drain the energy but also helps in honing few basic skills which play a major role in future or in the later stage ,for example concentration.listed below are few of the major benefits toys offer

Cognitive development and creativity

  



Children are in constant quest of learning since birth and hence the toys provide the opportunity for them to think explore and relate it with real life.when an infant start playing or reacting to a rattler or starts getting attracted towards contrasting colours that is when they start their journey of curiosity . A toddler playing with a wooden horse and recognising a real one in the field is nothing but the imagination which comes to action while playing and relating things in real life.creativity is another one such benefit of playing with toys and helps in cognitive development.

Physical development and motor skills 

  



Physical development at an early age is at the fastest rate and hence the early stage of infancy and toddlerhood is when physical and motor skill can be developed.motor coordination helps in problem solving and also helps brain and hand coordination as well as eyes and hand coordination.Both gross and fine motor skills are important and needs to be developed at an early stage.Toys are the best way to hone these skills.

Social and emotional skills 

  

Another important aspect of growing up years is social and emotional development.when a child involves in pretend play they learn how to become social even if they play alone.sharing and multiple player toys helps them in developing social skills.Babies and toddlers goes through a lot of emotional ups and down where they are unable to express their feelings. Toys are the best medium to make them express what they feel and also through play they learn how to express themselves and their unexpressed emotions.

Language development 

  

Toys help in developing language skills, they add so much to the building vocabulary of the babies and toddlers.A child’s language skills are developed when they come across new objects and toys provide the avenue where they learn about new things and develop their language skills.

Sensorial development 

  

I have already talked about the importance of sensorial activities in past , when a child touches the toys they develop the sense of touch and feel soft , rough etc.

Importance of toys in today’s context and problem with today’s market 

  

When now we have already discussed the importance of toys let me throw some light on importance of toys in today’s context. Now when the families are small and spending capacity has increased we often face the problem of keeping our little ones busy and find refugee in gadgets or battery operated toys.while there is no harm in screen time in moderation beyond 18 months of age and few battery operated toys in your child’s collection but totally relying on these for play is not advisable.over exposure to battery operated toys also hamper the creativity of a child.

  
Today the market is flooded with cheap plastic and battery operated toys everywhere, I would not deny the fact that those plastic toys and at that price are not tempting enough.But these toys attract a very low span of attention for babies.So eventually we end up buying more and more and slowly kids lose interest in toys altogether.Another disadvantage of these plastic toys is they are extremely bright and colourful and over stimulating whereas toys should be soothing and welcoming.

So what is the solution ?



Needless to mention the effect these battery and plastic toys have on our environment. When as a parent all we want to do is leave a better place for our next generation.so the least we can do is by consciously making an effort to abstain from buying plastic toys altogether or to limit our plastic purchases and replace plastic with wood.

  
Yes wooden toys are more attractive ,educational, welcoming, soothing and on the top environment friendly.They are much sturdier than plastic toys and lasts for generations and hence can be passed on generations altogether.And if your plans are not that futuristic as mine then those can be used as decorative pieces in kids room once they outgrow as wooden toys are so beautiful and finished .

A wooden toy brand which promises a solution 



As you all know I follow Montessori and I constantly search for the best brands for wooden toys who manufacture finished toys using the best quality of wood.one of such brand that I have come across is Skola toys.

Skola
toys is a brand which manufactures high quality wooden toys for children between the age of 1-8 yrs and makes learning fun by covering the various aspects of education like language,cognitive,sensorial development.The best part about this brand is they have a wide range of toys and mostly open ended.open ended toys helps children use their imagination and prompts them to be more creative. 

Why I think skola toys can be your child’s best friend and best teacher 



One look at the toys and you can tell that these are made by the finest artisan and craftsmen.the research team behind definitely puts in a lot of effort and research before designing a toy. They have a collection of Montessori toys which you would not find easily in India.

To read more about this wonderful connection of toys with kids click the link below and check what Udita (famously known as zuzu’s mom) has to say 

Early Learning toys and kids :The whole cosmic connection

Advertisements

Raising a Reader – Books on Wild Animals 

My last post was all about wild animal themed Montessori activities, while we do themed activities we read and browse through many books relevant to the theme.


Little N is 22 months old and loves books with bright pictures and can recognise animals while browsing through the books that means a lot of Independent book browsing which we call reading. N is not patient enough to read a story book that only happens at the bedtime rest the whole day it is browsing through the pictures of the book and most of the time it is done by him Independently. Only during bedtime he needs either me or his papa to read a book .
Let me take you through our collection of wild animals.

 

Wild Animals -Touch & Feel Book


This is N’s first book on wild animals and it started with touching the texture and now he makes sounds while browsing through the book. He loves to point out details like trees, butterfly,flower apart from the main subject in the page. This helps me cook Story around which in next reading session is pointed out by him proudly.

 

Noises by Neal Layton


This book is a must buy for babies and toddlers. Bright illustrations with one animal per page. The book has no text other than the sound animals make, this makes the book all the more interesting for the babies.

This is little N’s sound book(not battery operated but self 😜) and it starts with a roar because the lion is in the cover pic.This book is often repeated in our car stash of books as well.

 

Roaring Lion by Emily Bolam


This is a story book about a roaring lion who has no friends because he roars and everyone is scared of him . Well Honestly I didn’t like the story as in the end lion stops roaring and starts purring to make friends. But for lil N it’s his roar book and I have let it be a roar book.

 

Jungle Animals – Cup Cake books

This is a very interesting and engaging book as the black and white animals take colour as you pull them out . A nice book to teach colours and animals at the same time and has a very interesting story line as every animals after getting colour starts searching for another animal in the next page.

This is little N’s Magic book .

 

Who am I? monkey by Sawaan publication


This is a series of books we have few farm animals book from the same series. This book has some interesting facts about monkeys and funny illustrations with monkey wearing caps , sunglasses and hence becomes an excellent book for language as well. As we find which monkey is wearing glasses or cap.

 

My first Animal book -By Sterling Publications


I bought this book from Big Bazaar for just Rs 20/- and the reason I bought this was it has real life illustrations. All pictures are real and hence an excellent Montessori book.

Reading the books relevant to our theme not only helps Nirvaan gain more knowledge but also makes the reading fun as he relates the animals with the activity.

BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC-MY EXPERIENCE

So when we talk about Breastfeeding and normalising it one of the most controversial topic that crops up is “breastfeeding in public”,I thought to take this weeks celebration as an oppurtunity to talk about breastfeeding in public and my experience so far.

I like travelling and weekends are only fun if we are out and if you have read my last post MY BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY you would know that my son’s primary diet and soother till now are breasts. But that has never stopped me from venturing out or going for dinners or for that matter stopped myself from venturing into the streets for shopping or long walks.

I would not say that I was comfortable breastfeeding in public initially.It took me a while to get comfortable and get out of my own mind block of people are watching.

But before I write about my experience I would like to thank my parents, sister and my husband who have constantly worked on making me comfortable.I was very nervous the first time we went for a dinner and Nirvaan got cranky and I was scolded by my mother saying either you stay at home or be comfortable feeding in public.

Since then I don’t think I have ever felt nervous or refused to feed in a place where people are around.Breastfeeding in public or at any place is a personal choice and should be respected.A mother’s primary concern is her child be it any place that can’t change just because she is in a public place her right to feed her baby should not be questioned or looked down upon.

My Experience 

Initially when Nirvaan was an infant my outings honestly were to the places where feeding was comfortable like to a mall where there are feeding rooms or to the restraunts where we used to book the corner tables for extra privacy.Nirvaan made his maiden flight travel when he was just one and half months old and we did quite well with the feeding rooms at the airport and the window seat.Feeding an infant in public is honestly easier.All I did was to either use a cloak or a long shrug as I couldn’t feed him without looking at him.

I have fed him in parks , airport very much infront of people but always with a cover on that is my idea of being comfortable in public .

The real challenge I faced or rather face during feeding in public places is with a toddler who doesn’t want to keep the cover on him and also breastfeeding for us is not just breastfeeding it is a bonding time where Nirvaan loves to hear the sweet nothings I tell him and also he demands a lot of skin contact even till now.So in public places where he gets really cranky I don’t feel like feeding him out in open and honestly I prefer washrooms if there are no feeding areas.That gives me the required privacy and also gives him the required comfort.I find nothing wrong in it but yes one should not be forced to feed in washrooms when they are comfortable anywhere.

Well washrooms have been my last options I usually rush to clothing store and use their changing rooms and those are the best 😉 or if he is sleepy feeding him is easier in public .

I don’t bother those looks and till date have never stopped myself because of those looks.

I feel like if my breastfeeding makes someone uncomfortable then they should just avoid looking at me and can take a walk as I have not sat down for them to stare at me. You don’t like it then move on why bother looking and getting uncomfortable watching a baby having food. 

The whole idea of breastfeeding in public comes down to just one point of being comfortable whether with a cover or in the washroom it should be you who should be the decision maker not the people around.

For the beginners I just have one tip be confident you will get those looks even if the baby cries inconsolably,so just don’t bother and go ahead breastfeed any where  you feel comfortable.

HAPPY BREASTFEEDING MOMMIES 

I would highly recommend to check fellow mommy Natantara’s blog post on breastfeeding which is a complete guide for new moms click below to read it

http://mommyingbabyt.com/first-30-days-breastfeeding-new-moms-need-see-success/

Don’t forget to share your experiences down below in the comment section would love to know your breastfeeding experience in public .

 

MY BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY

This post is not just about my Breastfeeding journey but more about my journey as a mother.The journey which started as a painful experience and nothing to cherish about, which started with me questioning my ability to become  forget good but a mother all together.

Read about my initial breastfeeding story My Story-Breastfeeding and the sore nipples and get to know what I am talking about when I say it was painful.

After the initial teething issue we both faced as a new mother and baby N as a new baby we evolved as a better team.We understood each other better in the terms of need and attachment.So the first six months went on smooth with both of us becoming expert in the matter of breastfeeding .Then came the phase of tasting the real food directly and we did pretty well here too.Initial food introduction was a hit Baby N would never fuss and eat so well and I thought I am the luckiest mother on this earth with every mother complaining about their child being picky eater.

I joined office and Baby N was doing well with expressed milk, pureed food, and me coming during lunch time to feed him.It was at 8 months that my sabbatical started and we moved in a different country altogether.Initially when he refused to eat I thought its the change and I should give him time but it went on for almost a month, he would not even take a single spoon of food and will only asked to be fed with breast milk.I started loosing it as it was taking a toll on my life with an almost 9 month old healthy baby with a good appetite feeding on me day in day out.

There has not been a single day when I didn’t discuss his feeding issues with my mother and my sister and there has not been a single day when they have not told me that he is just doing fine and its a phase.My mother would quote my brothers example who was breastfed for  3 yrs  and was least interested in real food and my sister would quote her son’s example who till the age of one even refused to take real food.

It went on till 10 months and finally I decided to take  it as it is.I stopped forcing him to eat and partially adopted baby led weaning.why partially because Nirvaan asks to be spoon fed now so we are not exclusively into baby led weaning.And my life was much easier after I accepted the fact that me being around makes the real food less interesting.

Till one year I was quite relaxed with him being exclusively breastfed.Infact it was a boon in the vacation we went on his birthday .I didn’t worry about his food and he was one happy water baby there.

After his first birthday I noticed that he was showing interest in eating the finger foods and many other food items by himself and I was relaxed that finally things are working and getting into track.But I was completely unaware about the monster named Teething and it happened when we were all settled and eating well.Teething happened at 14 months and He stopped eating and was again into exclusive breastfeeding.

Exclusive breastfeeding and a cranky baby who wants to bite your nipples to ease his teething pain is a worst combination.It was an emotional phase where I thought it is better for both of us if he is weaned off the breast completely.There has been so many moments when I felt like Why me ? I see other moms with kids of same age roaming around wearing their favourite dress and here I am struck with my baby who still wants to be fed like a new born.But Thankfully those feelings were momentary and I made up mind to be the mother he wants me to be.Not forcing him to eat and feeding him on demand.

And today at 21 months when I look back I seriously think why did I fuss over a 9 month old not eating ? I laugh at myself thinking how stupid of me to think of weaning him off his primary diet at that age.

And are we working on our weaning journey ? No not yet we are just gonna enjoy this beautiful journey of breastfeeding as long as we can.May be next year at this time I might just talk about weaning while we would be celebrating the World breastfeeding week.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week to all the mothers who have  fed love to the little ones through breastfeeding and to  the mothers who  have fed all the love through the bottle.A big salute to all of you for being what you are and being best at it.

Also check the inspiring journey of Karuna and Baby K on how she started with formula and still breastfeeds baby K at two plus

http://nameplaceanimalthing.in/2017/08/07/chose-extended-breastfeeding-2-year-old/

wbw2017-logo.png

 

My Parenting Mantra-Let me wear his tiny Shoes

Welcome aboard this blog train – My Parenting Mantra. We have some awesome bloggers who are going to drive it for over a month. We promise to bring you some enriching contents that will add to your own parenting experience

First of all a big thanks to Charu who blogs at The Momsagas for introducing me.Meet all our Mom bloggers who are a part of this Blog Train Here

Let me wear his tiny shoes

Before I start with my parenting mantra let me tell you something I never thought I would be the parent I am today.I had a complete different outlook towards parenting when I was not a parent.I never liked kids!! Yes you read it right.I never had the patience to deal with them their unending curosity was something I used to find as irritating.

“One tight slap” was something I thought was answer to all when it come to kids.I am the youngest and needless to say was/is the most pampered child of the family.I have troubled my parents in most innovative way possible.I have even asked my mother why did she take all that and why I was not slapped; as I would beat my baby blue black if he/she behaves like that.

Fast Forward-Today I am mother to a 20 months old boy and I am total opposite of what I thought I would be.I practice Gentle and mindful Parenting, again you read it right.He is my teacher he teaches me in every way possible; how I have to raise him.

He is his best guide.

Throwing my shoes off to wear his- A new me was born with him

Well my parenting started with a very painful experience of breastfeeding.I had sore nipples from the very next day I started feeding my baby.The pain was so unbearable at one point I though of giving up but the mother in me refused  to give up and asked me to be in my baby’s position and imagine how difficult it must be for him to feed when he is not able to latch properly and since that day I have been following the same principle of parenting in every situation whenever I think of giving up and be the parent I thought I would be before I became a mother.

Wearing his shoes no matter how tight it feels- To Understand his emotions 


Ever wondered what goes inside that little brain which is processing every thing at the speed of rocket and yet not able to express as they lack so many emotions and words which we as an adult have an access to.

Imagine there is a spark and you blow it thinking it will be put off by blowing totally unaware of the fact that blowing can result in fire.This is what happens when the babies have a melt down or they throw a tantrum.They are over stimulated.When there is a fire you can’t control the fire by pouring petrol you need to pour water to control that fire.As a parent our job is to control that over stimulated state and help them get control of their emotions and get back to normal.But  most of the time we fail to understand it and in turn act  by hitting  them ,shouting at them for mis behaving.

I stay calm and hug him and make him understand that it is perfectly all right to vent his frustration out. Attimes it becomes so difficult to handle my own temper as I run out of patience but then I remember I have to wear his shoes no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

Wearing his shoes literally -To have fun like a child

Every night before sleeping I think of what all we can play and the next morning I get up all excited to play new games, new activities together.I never try to teach him in fact we learn it together.

Even he wears my shoes- My acts will define his personality


As a parent I have a huge responsibility of raising a baby into a mindful adult.That can only happen when I am mindful of my acts.Kids idolise their parents as role model.As a parent what I do will always be right for him.And hence I need to be a mindful adult to raise my child as one.

We both love taking rides on daddy’s shoes-Without his support nothing would have been possible


I can’t talk about my parenting mantra without him.He has been the biggest strength and most importantly dealt with  temper tantrums, mood swings, bad behaviour of both of us  mindfully with a smile without an iota of anger.

Hope you enjoyed reading my Parenting Mantra don’t forget to leave your comments below as I would love to read your views and Mantra too.

See what our next blogger mom Anchal who blogs at The Mum Story says about her Parenting Mantra.

 

Dental Hygiene -How to make your toddler brush

So the last time I wrote about dental hygiene(Dental Hygiene for babies- When to start and how!!) was when I was dealing with a baby and this time I am dealing with a toddler.

A simple thing like brushing  teeth can be a reason for great misery atleast for parents.I have seen a whole episode of meltdown because I asked someone to brush his teeth.

When we started with the real brush it was all fun, my baby was 13 months and had a fixed routine of getting up and sitting on his high chair while I combed his hair and brushed his teeth.Before that I use to wash his teeth and gums with washcloth.It went on well for few days then he started snatching the brush from my hand.Attimes he would try to brush on his own which was fine with me and most of the time throw it away.It went on for quite sometime and then I realised I need to break the monotony.

I tried different fun ways to teach him how to brush and today he waits for his brushing time.

Let them watch 

So the first mistake I realised  was making him brush sitting or for that matter not in the proper place.I started taking him to the washroom while me and my husband brushed our teeth.Initially he use to stand there and ask for brush and cry for our brush if we handed him over his own.So we bought a brush for him our size off course.After few days he wanted his brush.

ToothPaste in not important Brushing is 

All of us make this mistake I did as well,I would stress on using toothpaste and hence he got a feeling of something being forced into his mouth.I stopped giving him toothpaste for sometime to make him comfortable with brush and introduced the paste again when he was comfortable with toothbrush.

Make Brushing fun

This may sound silly but me and my husband use to sing and dance while brushing.That made him feel he is missing out on something and to join us he would take his brush and shake his bum.

Brush Brush Brush your teeth, every morning every night is his favourite.

Role Play

Make everything brush their teeth in the house, my sons makes his doll brush his teeth every morning now.We have a brush for the doll similar to what he has.

Give them Options/Freedom

This is very important let them choose keep few brushes and let them choose.Most of the time they end up making their favourite.Sometimes when even after making so much effort and even after making it as a habit my son doesn’t feel like brushing I let him be.Forcing will make him hate it which I don’t want to.

Make the area accessible

Let them brush their teeth where everyone in the family does.We bought a stool for him to stand and he comfortably reaches the wash basin for brushing and yes some fun with the running water is a daily activity.

Show them how to 

Instead of taking their hand and making them brush, show them how to.Children are curious and they try to imitate.Take advantage and show them how you do it.

Switch Brushing Buddies 

This was so far the most effective in making him brush.I stay with my son the whole day so brushing was taken over by his father and this is something they look upto now.They both sing and brush together.Once he gets bored I will takeover again.Hopefully he would not get bored ever.

Just like any other thing with babies brushing requires lot of patience from the parents end.When we make it a routine it becomes boring add some spice to it and let them enjoy and you will see the difference.

Wishing you guys happy Gums and teeth and Dental Hygiene is important always remember that.

Watch this video and see how my little one loves brushing now

​​

Raising A Reader- Books on Farm Animals

So the last week was all about farm animals in our Montessori Shelf trays Farm Animal Themed Montessori Activities and also the books we picked were all about farm animals to make our experience better and easier.

We unknowingly have a decent collection of books on farm and farm animals.I never realised till the time I searched the book basket for more books.

Along with all the activities we did last week we read a lot about farm animals too and tried to atleast touch all books we have and made few favourites.

Starting with the favourites

Usborne Farmyard Series Noisy Animals 


This is a big board book and attracts the attention instantly with bigger illustrations.The illustration is colourful and attractive.This is a great book for learning the sounds animals make.

This book been one of our favourite as Nirvaan loves pointing out at the animals and makes the sound while pointing them.The last page has all the animals and he loves matching the figurines by keeping the figurines over the picture of the respective animal.

This book is musical but since we borrowed it from the library it doesn’t have the musical part anymore.

Old MacDonald had a farm (Igloo Books )


This one is a musical book and has the rhyme and various animal sound. Nirvaan loves pressing the button to hear the sound animals make and enjoys a lot.He finds it funny though.

Helps in learning about the farm animals and the sound they make.

Farm Animal-Touch and Feel (Sterling Publication India)


This one probably is the first book we got about farm animals and is still one of our favourite.The very fact of it being a touch and feel book has made it top the list.This one is a real inexpensive book by an Indian publishing house.The book has a small write up about the animals in few words in every page along with the touch and feel animal on the other page.A medium sized easy to hold book with bright images.

When I go to the farm (Parragon Books)


More than a farm book it has been our bedtime book.A nice book for the little ones to point out the animals while reading and finding the pig which is hiding in every page is something Nirvaan looks up for.Overall a simple book which tells about the basic characteristic of the farm animals like pigs like to play in the mud in their pen etc.

Who am I ? Series book (Duck & Cow)(Manoj Publications India)


I got three of these books from a roadside hawker just for Rs70 each.The very first page catches the attention and if you ask Nirvaan for his Duck book or the Moo Moo book he would simply bring these to read.

This book tells the basic information about the animal mentioned like ducks like to swim, cow gives us milk etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raising A Reader-My Story

Honestly I never planned or thought of raising a reader, but the first board book I bought filled me with so much of happiness that all I wanted was to hoard books for my little one.Those cute little books with such bright colour and texture where a delight to flip.And hence started our journey towards the world of books.

While growing up I saw my elder sister glued to books.She would even read while having dinner at times and when asked would say she is about to reach the climax and can leave the food but not the book.Her love for books was never ending and so was her collection starting from famous fives to mills and boons to classics.I never bought a single book honestly it was all her collection.

I remember my father reading stories every night before we use to sleep from the famous Chandamama or Panchatantra.It was those bedtime stories which compelled me to read and love reading initially.When my father would not read to us, me and my brother would take turns to read stories and we always asked for more when my father read those to us.And would doze off to sleep even before the story finished.

I grew up in the era when subscriptions meant magazine for mothers and comics for us.I grew up reading Cha Cha Chaudhary ,Pinky,Archies,Tin Tin before I graduated to Nancy Drew and famous five.Mills and Boons came much later for me.

It was during my holidays after my Xth board when I read a book by an Indian author and fell in love with the style of writing and realised how much I feel connected.Reading became my hobby and my imagination took me to places I have never been.Throughout my college and MBA I used my library card for course books right before examination rest part of the year it was all about exploring different genre.

As I mentioned earlier I never planned to raise a reader I just bought books at different stages and eventually fell for raising a reader.As a parent all I want is the best for my baby and the habit of reading is the best I can do for him.I want him to see the world in a wider sense, when we read it opens so many perspective and widens our thinking process more than intelligent reading makes us smart.

I am waiting for my son to grow up so that we both can go to the oxford book store at Barakhambha road, New Delhi where I have so many fond memories of reading dates with my besties, we loved smelling those books and loved flipping thorough sipping the coffee we could afford occasionally from our pocket money and paying in turns for each other on every visit.We sat there and made our bucket list of books and saved money to buy those.

So as I take you forward with our journey of #raisingareader I wanted to share the story behind my love for books.Watch this space for more on Raising a reader.

Posting a video of my tiny reader in action…

 

Toddler Meltdowns and a Mother’s confession

Its a confession post,yes I want to confess I have been a completely non Montessori when it comes to handling my sons tantrums and melt downs.I have shouted on him told him will throw him out if he doesn’t stop his drama, have man handled him.It can’t get any crazier at 18 months, he has been behaving so strong headed that it becomes so difficult to handle him.

While flying from Oman to Kolkata we had a connecting flight at chennai so it was a long travel and needless to mention exhausting; we were ready for a tired baby to carry but toddlers are the most unpredictable species on this earth.He was full of energy and refused to sleep and this resulted in a highly cranky baby  at landing.Just as we landed and were boarding the bus he had a desire to climb the stairs of the flight again and again and yes we had a bad melt down and I cursed the airport authority for not having an aero bridge but then the reason would have been something else for a cranky fit.No amount of cajoling and counselling stopped him from crying his heart out and all we could do was trying our skills to calm him down in turn till the time he was tired and slept in the cab.This was a whole half an hour before he slept.

That half an hour I had been angry felt like crying myself,leaving him alone for a while but no options were possible as we were not at home. It added to my frustration and the second melt down at home made me furious but since he was surrounded by my in laws I had to control some how.

After two days we travelled to Delhi to my Mom’s place where I had a final showdown  he refused to go to anyone and was cranky for no good reason.The reasons were pretty obvious, his father left for oman so he was missing him, he is used to just two of us so new people with his father not being around was completely unacceptable for him, but my mind refused to acknowledge these reasons  and I shouted, shouted for the very first time on him so badly that even thinking about that episode now makes me feel guilty.I told him I would throw him out and cried my heart out and told him now I can’t handle him.

How could I? He has been travelling and was tired, he is not use to so many new faces and he was meeting new every time, he is teething and that makes it worst for him.The faces he is showing arrogance to are new to him and it might hurt me seeing him not accepting my mom but for him they are just new people he doesn’t remember a bit of what my mom did for him or what  my sister did for him.My expectation of him accepting my dear ones is so unreal.

So this episode of my shouting and break down made me learn one thing. Losing my temper did good to no one. My mother and sister were upset with me for behaving so bad and losing it on the poor baby.My baby hugged me thinking I am upset and was clingy all the time.I have never felt so bad in my entire life.

This has made realise few things

  • Understand what my baby is going through.
  • Not to pass the burden of my expectations on to his shoulders
  • Keep my anger and frustration to myself and never pass it on to the baby.I know it is difficult but somehow its really important.
  • A meltdown needs a calm parent , a frustrated parent only adds to the misery.
  • Everyone goes through it I am not alone may be the only one at that point of time .
  • People will give me looks and suggestions but my baby is none of any one’s business.
  • Relax and remember that he is my same baby who gets fits of laughter for no reason ,so a meltdown here and there is ok.

I didn’t write this post to tell the tips to handle the meltdowns but honestly just wanted to share an experience with mommies so that somewhere some mommy would relax reading it and thinking she is not the only one and feel less guilty maybe.

 

I Won’t Unschool My Son, I Will Raise A Regular School Boy Like This

Before I discuss why I want to unschool myself and open my story for debate/discussion, I wish to take you all to the time when I was in school.

I was a very mediocre student with very less aspirations, I wanted to take up a field that involved lesser study. Without being attentive in class I scored pretty well. Way higher than my counter parts, who were actually very intelligent. I used to look down upon them. I used to think, “What low level of intelligence these people have, they answer in class so well, they can carry an intelligent conversation but still can’t score more than I do. What is the use of all that intelligent conversations and knowing more than what was needed.”

My friends were the rebels, not me. I did what the system wanted me to do, mug right before the exam, puke it out on the paper and feel fresh again for a new session with no uneasy feeling of the past, just like a clean slate.

Read the full article here

I Won’t Unschool My Son, I Will Raise A Regular School Boy Like This