Toddler Meltdowns and a Mother’s confession

Its a confession post,yes I want to confess I have been a completely non Montessori when it comes to handling my sons tantrums and melt downs.I have shouted on him told him will throw him out if he doesn’t stop his drama, have man handled him.It can’t get any crazier at 18 months, he has been behaving so strong headed that it becomes so difficult to handle him.

While flying from Oman to Kolkata we had a connecting flight at chennai so it was a long travel and needless to mention exhausting; we were ready for a tired baby to carry but toddlers are the most unpredictable species on this earth.He was full of energy and refused to sleep and this resulted in a highly cranky baby  at landing.Just as we landed and were boarding the bus he had a desire to climb the stairs of the flight again and again and yes we had a bad melt down and I cursed the airport authority for not having an aero bridge but then the reason would have been something else for a cranky fit.No amount of cajoling and counselling stopped him from crying his heart out and all we could do was trying our skills to calm him down in turn till the time he was tired and slept in the cab.This was a whole half an hour before he slept.

That half an hour I had been angry felt like crying myself,leaving him alone for a while but no options were possible as we were not at home. It added to my frustration and the second melt down at home made me furious but since he was surrounded by my in laws I had to control some how.

After two days we travelled to Delhi to my Mom’s place where I had a final showdown  he refused to go to anyone and was cranky for no good reason.The reasons were pretty obvious, his father left for oman so he was missing him, he is used to just two of us so new people with his father not being around was completely unacceptable for him, but my mind refused to acknowledge these reasons  and I shouted, shouted for the very first time on him so badly that even thinking about that episode now makes me feel guilty.I told him I would throw him out and cried my heart out and told him now I can’t handle him.

How could I? He has been travelling and was tired, he is not use to so many new faces and he was meeting new every time, he is teething and that makes it worst for him.The faces he is showing arrogance to are new to him and it might hurt me seeing him not accepting my mom but for him they are just new people he doesn’t remember a bit of what my mom did for him or what  my sister did for him.My expectation of him accepting my dear ones is so unreal.

So this episode of my shouting and break down made me learn one thing. Losing my temper did good to no one. My mother and sister were upset with me for behaving so bad and losing it on the poor baby.My baby hugged me thinking I am upset and was clingy all the time.I have never felt so bad in my entire life.

This has made realise few things

  • Understand what my baby is going through.
  • Not to pass the burden of my expectations on to his shoulders
  • Keep my anger and frustration to myself and never pass it on to the baby.I know it is difficult but somehow its really important.
  • A meltdown needs a calm parent , a frustrated parent only adds to the misery.
  • Everyone goes through it I am not alone may be the only one at that point of time .
  • People will give me looks and suggestions but my baby is none of any one’s business.
  • Relax and remember that he is my same baby who gets fits of laughter for no reason ,so a meltdown here and there is ok.

I didn’t write this post to tell the tips to handle the meltdowns but honestly just wanted to share an experience with mommies so that somewhere some mommy would relax reading it and thinking she is not the only one and feel less guilty maybe.

 

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34 thoughts on “Toddler Meltdowns and a Mother’s confession

  1. Raising Karma (@raising_karma) says:

    Hey, don’t feel so guilty about it! I promise you each and every one of us has lost it on our kids at some point or another where instead of handling it in a calm way, we just shout at them. It’s so normal to do. I could totally relate to you as I was reading this. Sometimes, its so difficult to understand or deal with a tantrum. Sometimes, I do it like a pro and other times, I just shout back. But that’s how we become better moms. We are human and so are our kids. Its perfectly normal to for both to not have a handle on their feelings… 🙂 There’s nothing good or bad about it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. alpanadeo says:

    I totally agree. Toddlers are the natural buzy and unpredictable tiny human beings. 🙂 we can’t meet their energy.

    I truly appreciate your honesty in accepting the points you mentioned. When we are calm then only we can look for options. I respective of their age, our state of mind plays a major role.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gleefulblogger says:

    We all have such meltdowns, I remember when daughter was just 1.5 yrs I went so mad for some trivial reason and told my husband you either keep.a nanny for her or i am leaving house. But with the new day and adequate sleep the irritation subsided and I was back in my real self. Just bec we have given birth to them, doesn’t make us super-humans. We also have breaking points.
    Such a true emotional post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Shub says:

    I think it is normal for parents to blow temper sometimes. Kids do test our patience. Just that we should not develop this trait of shouting at every instance.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mahekg says:

    I cant imagine what you went through… but im normal life I go through it I know its wrong but the anger comes out. Makes me feel guilty later but may be thats the way my body wants to remove the negativity … I also sometimes cant help it

    Liked by 1 person

  6. rooshna says:

    Don’t beat yourself over it dear. I’ve had my own moments of meltdowns with my kids, especially with my eldest when I was a new and clueless mum. We are only humans, afterall. Thanks for being honest and real.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fabulous Mom Life says:

    Such moments are a part of motherhood. It is human to have meltdowns. Just like that quote which has become very popular these days – Nobody’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed – all Moms have their bad moments. Of course, not everyone talks about it and there isn’t any need to. But that does not mean it doesn’t happen. We can only learn from our experience and try to improve things when faced with a similar situation again. That’s momlife!

    Liked by 1 person

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